


The Sound of Freedom

by Skittletwix



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Additional Warnings Apply, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 21:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1526756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skittletwix/pseuds/Skittletwix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Running away from his hopeless life, Eren takes the opportunity to make something of himself with his best friend Armin, hoping to one day be as good as his favorite band, Counterattack.They meet a horse faced drummer and his freckled friend with the same dream as them and climb the ladder of success together with Levi, Eren's idol and learn what it takes to be a successful band in Trost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Running to the Start

      BLRINGBRLIMG BRLINNNNNNN- “Shut the fuck up!” God, I’m so friggin tired of that stupid alarm clock. Basically punching that little fucker’s power button, I glanced at the time- 7:15. What the hell was I thinking, setting it up for 7:15? I must have wanted extra time to sleep, not that I would have gotten enough anyway. Well how dandy is that? Ten lovely minutes to get this shit together and not be late for the bus. Awesome. Rolling off this uncomfortable bed of mine, my feet hit the freezing floor. The bed probably isn’t really that bad-it must just be me. I haven’t been able to sleep soundly in forever.

      I could hear Mikasa in the kitchen, making coffee maybe? Yeah, she must be making coffee; I could smell it from my room. Throwing on a T-shirt and jeans, I headed out to meet Mikasa out there, I can fix my hair later. Unlike me, she actually looked put together, calmly sitting on a stool, a coat on her, with skinny jeans, and of course her red scarf that she always wore. Her calm, expressionless black eyes met my own. She put her coffee out in front of me. “Want some?” she asked. “Nah” I said shrugging a bit. “Did you sleep at all?” she asked. "No less than usual." I replied. And that was the end of the conversation. Everything was turning to crap ever since mom died in the car accident a year ago. I couldn’t sleep anymore, and Mikasa and I drifted apart. I don’t blame her, there’s nothing we can really do to prevent this, it just...happens, its best she stays away too. She doesn't need to see what goes on between dad and I. Dad started working night shifts and got an extra job just to pay bills. Mikasa thinks that’s all that man’s doing, but he’s also drinking himself away too, and probably gambling as well.I don’t know, but lately he’s been coming home a screaming drunk mess pissing on himself. I can’t let Mikasa know that side of him. All my life she tries to protect me, but this time I’m protecting her. I’m glad she’s a heavy sleeper. “Eren, it’s about time for you to go, fix your hair and get to school. You can’t be late again.” Mikasa said in her monotonous voice. I smirked a bit; she’s such a mother.

      Slipping into the bathroom, I messed and fixed my hair, washed my face a bit, and there! I don’t look great, but it’s good enough to go out in public. Feeling a bit awesome, knowing I don’t look like a drug addict, I swung my bag over my shoulder, walked out the door of this hell hole, and on my way to that ugly little bus. Stepping inside, I glanced around, until finally finding a seat with no one in it. I don’t do well with these people. They suck. And apparently I’m the only person who actually stands up to them, thus making me the most hated guy in school. I can't help it-if I have something to say to them, i say it. I can’t tell you how many fights I’ve been in with these guys, or how many bloody noses I’ve given them. I think I even broke one of their arms one time... I can’t remember. People like them just piss me off, thinking they can interrogate and bully others.  “Jaeger!” “Jaeger!” I don’t know what was worse, the stupid jocks overusing my last name, or these snobby girls whispering, glancing my way. “Don’t respond Eren… it’s not worth it.” I muttered putting on my headphones to drown out these jackasses. I grinned a bit when Counterattack, the best band that ever existed, came on. Oh my God yes. I need them now. This band the best thing I ever heard,  Levi, their lead singer and guitarist, is my role model. I can’t believe how much talent is in that one guy. This band is one of the only things keeping me going. I’m going to be like them one day; Armin and I- ARMIN! I need to text that guy! I quickly shot out my phone instantly typing to that little blonde.

      _hey_. I type out quickly. I rest my head against the cold bus window and close my eyes. My music blasts in my ears and I start to fall asleep before being woken up my my phone buzzing in my lap.

_Hey, what’s up?_

      I unlock my phone and type _Im trapped on the bus with these idiots._ and press send. Armin responds within a minute with _yeah I feel ya. There's nobody on my bus to talk to either._ Oh Armin. I love this guy. He’s my best friend-well, one of my only friends. Probably my only friend, to be honest. He lives somewhere in Trost, where basically the music industries live. If you want to be  successful in the music world, you go to Trost. Armin’s grandfather owns a recording studio, so Armin knows almost everything about music, and he can play pretty damn good on the keyboard too. He shows me when we skype and such, he plays his keyboard and I sing. Yes, I can sing. I don’t sound like a dumb girl or about to hit puberty, I actually sound like a manly guy like I always am. I can scream a bit too, like in the good way. We’ve been thinking of trying to form a band and become as good as Counterattack. Armin’s really serious about it, like he bought his own apartment in Trost and has been asking me like, every other day if I want to move in with him so we can actually be a band. I could technically do this, I’m almost eighteen, I can drive, and I’m getting pretty fucking tired of this life I have and the burden I am here. The only problem is I can’t afford a car, which is going to be pretty big problem when you live in Shiganshina. And I’d probably get shunned by my father for going to Trost where “Talentless, dirty, drug addicted hobos.”  go. Well, dad, I think your attitude is a talentless, dirty drug addicted hobo. The bus pulled up to our school. Sighing, I closed up my music and phone, trudging out of the bus.

       My first class was math. I literally could not care any less about math, so I took my seat in the back of the class an secretly listened to music and doodled in my notebook. I was in the middle of sketching a picture of a Counterattack album cover when the bell interrupted me. I threw my stuff carelessly into my bag and was the first one out of the class. Next was history, then biology, which were both as uninteresting as my first class. My final class of the day, English, was the only class I actually enjoyed. My teacher, Mr. Pixis, seemed to actually try to teach me something instead of just giving up halfway through the class, like my other teachers. Something about writing just clicked with me, and it came naturally. That class always goes fast, which is a relief, because all I want to do at this point is get out of this living hell they like to call school. Not that it was that much better outside of school. I somehow make it to the bus first, and without getting stopped by any jerks on the way out. I took a seat near the front of the bus, plugged in my headphones, and leaned against the window. Eventually more people started piling on the bus, while I ignored them. The only thing I ask is that they act like I'm not there and leave me alone. What's so hard to understand about that? I unlock my phone to text Armin. _Hey._ Armin is the only one I can actually talk to anymore, I'm lucky to have him.

       "Jaeger!" I hear over my music. I duck down in my seat, like that would make them stop. I didn't need this today. I’m getting real tired of this shit….”Hey Jaeger we’re talking to you! don’t be rude!” Some dumb, beefy guy said. It was a that group again. Usually they sit at the back, but I guess that’s filled up today.

      The beefy guy plummeted down to the spot next to me. Oh god, he wants to eat me. Beef face saw the headphones in my ears and instantly sneered, snapping one of the earplugs out my ears he did a stupid grin before saying “Ooooooo Counterattack Jaeger! Aren’t they dreamy?!” obnoxiously, the group laughing with him. “Hey Jaeger, are you Gayger for them?!” a dumbass with too much hair gel asked, snickering. “Thats not even clever.” I replied. That seriously wasn’t, It’s stupid, like his face-  “YOU probably don’t even know to SPELL clever.” he shot back, angered. A blonde girl named Tina laughed, “Oh my god guys, you should see him in biology! He’s sooo stupid. He just sits there with his music like he’s one of the frogs or something!”  The guy with hair gel was still pissed, “Look here you little green eyed douche, you better shut your little mouth, because I’m still gonna kick your ass for what you did to Travis last week.” Anger flashed in my eyes a bit. Don’t do it Eren...don’t do it. “Look, that was his fault. He shouldn't have tried to punch me...and he should have kept his comments about my home life out of it. I can’t help that he wouldn’t shut up, so I had to make him.” I responded trying to be as civil as possible. That was true, very true. I did shut him up, even if I did lose it a bit in the process a bit and beat him until he bled. I must have made hair gel guy lose it too because he instantly shot up and grabbed me by the collar “Look you little demonic faggot, I don't know who you think you are-" Quickly looking out the window, I saw it was my stop. I wriggled out of his grip and made it to the door. "Did I SAY you could leave?" I heard from behind me, but I kept going. I didn't need to deal with any of their shit today.

      I pulled out my phone and saw Armin had texted me back. _hey wrud?_ There was no need to make him worry over me. _Just got off the bus wbu?_ I hit send and reach to plug in my headphones before remembering what happened. I stuff them back in my bag and keep walking. My house isn't much farther away. When I get to my house I unlock the door and step inside. Mikasa won't be home for a while because of clubs after school, so I would have the house to myself for a while. I wish I could be as social as her. She could have a great future, if it weren’t for me. Let’s face it-I’m not great like her, I’m just a burden. Our father knows, she knows, I know, probably the whole district knows. I’m not being some mopey bitch, I really am useless, it’s the cold hard truth. I shouldn’t live like this, holding her back. This isn’t right at all. Armin’s apartment sounds nice, and living with him there sounds nice... That’d be awesome, actually- in Trost, making something of yourself with your best friend at your side. If I moved up there, maybe I could send Mikasa money for a university if I had enough. I must have been day dreaming about being in Trost longer than I thought, because it’s 5:17. Mikasa wasn't supposed to be home for at least another hour.….I looked at my phone and saw she had texted me an hour ago. _I’m staying at Mina’s tonight. Don’t wait to make dinner._ I sent her a _‘K’_  before dropping my phone back on the couch. As soon as I did, I heard the door slam open from my room. I turned to see a wobbling drunk figure hobbling towards me. Well, hey dad. “ERRREEEENNNNNN” he groaned attempting to grab me. “Dad this isn’t your room…” I started, a bit uncomfortable. “It can be my damn room if I wanna….I own this damn house” he slurred. “Yeah, you do, dad-” “DON’T CALL ME THAT…...IM NONE OF YOU LITTLE…..little….. creature’s father” he growled. It’s always like this when hes drunk. I looked down to see a bottle in his hand and tried to back away before he grabbed me. I tried to look into his eyes, Whatever he had been drinking was pretty strong, because his eyes are like soulless black orbs full of hate... as if they want to hurt me...

      BRRRIINKKK! I heard glass smash behind him, and I drifted my gaze over to notice he broke his damn bottle on the counter. Oh shit...is he going to stab me?  “I can’t take this...I can’t take this….” My dad whispered, disoriented. “I can’t….keep seeing…..seeing you...you MONSTERS!” he screamed throwing me down on the ground. All I could do was stare in bewilderment-He’s never done this before. Yeah, he always comes back drunk, screams at me, maybe punches the wall. He’d push me against the wall and threaten me, but he’s never thrown me this way. “You took everything! Everything! You’re nothing but PAIN, USELESS, WORTHLESS oh god, all this PAIN!” he sobbed. “Carla….oh Carla, I lost our babies….” He sobbed to himself. He looked insane right now, he was crying, his head sunk on the kitchen counter. I didn’t know what to do, any second now he could spring up and scream again. This isn’t good at all. I couldn’t hear what else he was was muttering, but he staggered towards me. “Did you take them?” He whispered darkly “What?” What the hell? I don’t get this guy, one minute he’s screaming he’s not our father, the next he’s sobbing and thinks I’m a kidnapper. “Dad, it’s me, Eren...Mikasa went to a friend’s-” “YOU’RE NOT EREN. YOU’RE NOT MY EREN” He roared, slamming me to the ground again. Shit! I could feel the wind knocked out of me. How does a guy who gets so drunk he can’t recognize his own son have so much strength?  

      Suddenly I felt a kick at my side, and I cringed. “Why are you always here every night?! Haunting me? You...you sick monster! You took my Mikasa...you took my Eren… You took everything! Why can’t you die?!” he sobbed “Why do you hide Mikasa away….. you BEAST. I love them...I want to see them NOW!” He tried to kick me again but i grabbed his foot. “Maybe….Mikasa doesn’t deserve to see your bullshit!” I exclaimed pulling his foot down,  making him fall I quickly stand over him. “She doesn’t deserve this life! She doesn’t deserve us! Oh my God WE don’t deserve YOU!” I angrily said. I don’t know why I just did that...I can’t believe I did it, for three years now I’ve had this private hell with him and I’ve never fought back. Everyone else else I could handle with no problem, but him, I couldn’t. I was afraid of him. What do I do now?

      He just kept panting, staring and panting at me like a wildebeest or something. “You bitch….quit torturing me with those evil eyes.” He was getting up, a murderous air around him. I don’t like this, I need to leave now. I sprinted back to my room only to find my stuff completely trashed. A hole in my wall, bed destroyed. Damn, dad. I quickly gathered the few clothes I could find that weren't destroyed and placed them in a dark green duffle bag. I sprinted out the room-all I had to to do was get out of this hou- A fist which happened to be my dad’s collided with my face. He pinned me against the wall snorting, that crazed look still in his eyes “I want you gone….I want you gone….I can’t take….take  your face anymore.” He breathed, pushing me up harder against the hard white wall. He’s kicking me out. He’s threatened it so many times, but he’s never forced it like this. I need to go, this isn’t my dad. I lost my dad three years ago when he and my mom crashed into that tree, killing my mom. I lost him the day he decided to drink that bottle of liquor and throw me against the wall for the first time, telling me he hated me. I’ve always reminded him of mom, I’ve been his demon, his guilt, his fucking burden, and he’s been my burden. One of us is going to lose it one day if this goes any longer. I have to stop being a burden and leave. “I’m going….I’m going” I whispered, my voice shaking, knowing this might be the last time I see this house. I steadily loosened his grip, moved out from the wall, making it to the doorway. Without thinking, I grabbed my phone from the couch. I turned around to see the drunk, broken mess that used to be the father I loved and adored. His coat was still on, damp with sweat, falling off his shoulder a bit. His dark brown hair that resembled my mom and I’s was messy, out of it’s neat ponytail, and he hasn’t shaved in a while, you could tell by that weird dirty stubble on his chin.  “What happened to you?” I asked with no control. A flash went his dull eyes “GET OUT NOW!” he roared, and instantly grabbed his broken bottle and chucked it at me “Shit!” I screamed glass piercing my skin as I sprinted out the house. Are you kidding me?! Throwing a bottle?! This guy is insane. He threw a bottle at my fucking leg. Little prick. That hurt! damn! I can’t stop sprinting. I want to go back and throw rocks at him for pulling that crap, but I can’t. I just can’t. I kept running, noticing it was raining, but that didn't matter. I could feel cold wet spots where the blood is running through my jeans, but it shouldn’t be noticeable. These are some pretty dark pants, after all. I need to make it to the bus. I need to take that fucking bus to Trost and get to Armin. I need him, I need him so bad right now. I’ll just tell him I got in a fight or something and ran off to him. It’s half the truth. I hope I can pull this off because I suck at lying. I’ve never been good with mind stuff and shit.

       I somehow make it to the bus through the rain with my injured leg and take a seat in the back of the bus. I was exhausted. All you have to do is make it to Armin's. I remind myself. It'll all be fine from there. My head rests on the window and the condensation numbs my forehead. I really wish I had my headphones. My music was always there for me through everything, but now I've lost even that. I look in my bag and shuffle through it to find some clothes and a charger that had happened to be nearby when I grabbed the shirt. Good thing I’d grabbed my phone. I have to tell Mikasa I thought. I can't have her coming home to that. But she should be at her friend’s house for now, and I couldn't find the strength to dial her number. What would I even say?

      I feel the bus come to a stop. My bag slides forward off the seat and I grab and close it before standing up. My head feels dizzy and heavy, like standing up after sitting for 5 hours, though it was more like 5 minutes. I limp to the front of the bus and walk until my feet hit the pavement. I nearly forgotten how long of a walk it was to Armin's house. Not like I had any choice but to walk there. Every step felt like another needle being stabbed into my leg. About a quarter of the way there, I couldn't walk anymore. I could always call Armin; I hadn't thought of that. I pull out my phone to find it had run out of battery anyway. Figures. And I can't use my charger here. The rain grows heavier and water is soon dripping from my hair. I spot a nearby bench and decide I would have to sit down if I wanted to avoid passing out in the middle of the street.

      I sit on the bench, not caring when the water soaked into my clothes. I was trying not to think about what had happened. Who knows what I would do if I started panicking now. Maybe I should just rest my eyes for a few minutes... When I thought about it, I couldn't seem to stop them from closing. I rested back on the bench, knowing it was dangerous to be asleep out here, but after what I just went through I don't know if I could go any longer.

      As I drifted asleep, I heard someone is down beside me. I kept my eyes open slightly and looked to the left through my blurred vision and heard a familiar voice.

 

"Well you look like shit."


	2. Starting Now

"Hey, brat."

      I open my eyes. Brat? who the fuck was this voice calling a brat? How long was I asleep? I look around, suddenly remembering what had happened.

"Uuugh..." I groaned. I had hoped it was just a dream.

"What're you doing here?" I hear the voice again. I turn I see the last person I would have expected. "Wha...." He had an undercut and piercings on his eyebrows and lip. His hair was a deep black and he had tattoos on his arms. I know this face. I know this guy. This is the guy. This guy is fucking Levi the guitar player and singer of Counterattack. I wasn’t so tired anymore now that this talented man is gracing me with his presence. Holy shit, I can’t control myself. I instantly shot up.

“YOU'RE LEVI!” I screamed, while I probably had the stupidest smile on my face. Levi’s eyes widened at my sudden outburst before giving me an annoyed look. Oh my god, he’s looking at me.

“Yeah, I’m Levi. Thanks for informing me of that, but that doesn't answer my question, brat. Why are you trying to sleep on this shitty bench? Do know how many people have have shitted on this bench?” He asked, crossing his arms. He gave the bench a disgusted look. I was at a loss for words… Here was my idol, the singer of the band who saved me, sitting next to me and somewhat concerned why I’m sleeping on this bench, which was totally not shitted on.

“H-H-Hi, Levi…..” I replied mindlessly. I can’t help but smile right now. He raised his eyebrows. Oh! He wants me to answer his question. Right. “Well, I uh…..I...can’t find a way to my friend’s house.” I finally answered. Levi looked at me with a hard silver gaze. Holy shit his eyes are even more amazing in real life... “Why would you try to go to a friend's house in the middle of the night?” he asked, suspicion in his voice. If I didn't idolize this guy so much, I’d ask him why he’s sitting on this bench asking random teenagers questions in the middle of the night. “Um, I-” “You're not good at lying, kid.” He interrupted my stuttering. “Well thank you captain FUCKING obvious.” I snapped. Welp, there went my self control. Great job, Eren. You just insulted the greatest musician of all time. I was expecting him to leave right there, but his smirk grew wider. “Well, it’s about time you stopped acting like a damn fanboy. Now tell me the truth this time, why are trying to run to your friend's at 11 o’clock at night?” His look told me he wasn't playing around. I sat up straight and faced him.

“I ran away to Trost after I was kicked out by my father tonight.” I spoke, my voice sounding surprisingly strong. I thought I was going to melt away and die or something telling him this. He just sighed, slumping on the bench stretching out his arms and looking straight at the road. “So you ran away after a fight with daddy? Wow kid, you’re doing awesome then. I’m surprised you haven’t become a stripper yet.” He chuckled darkly. I looked at him with wide eyes. “That’s not what I’m doing! That’s my back up plan!" I said sarcastically. "I actually wanted to start a band with Armin, my best friend.” I confessed. His eyes darted back to me with curiosity. “Really, kid?” He said quietly, “How come?” he asked. Holy fucking shit he wants to know why-control yourself Eren, don’t bring out the fan boy. Levi does not like the fanboy. I smiled at the ground.

“You and your band inspired us. You inspired me a lot. It made me want to be in a band, and be like you. I want to inspire people like that, too.” I said, tightening my grip on the handle of the duffle bag. I finally looked up to see him facing me. He sighed, before speaking. “Come on kid, let’s get you off this shitty bench and inside somewhere. You can sleep inside my apartment or something if you want. You’re not _that_ dirty.” He muttered while standing, extending a hand to help me up. “Really? You’d do that?” I asked, surprised. I didn't even tell him my name and he’s letting me in his apartment. “Yes kid, it’s not good to sleep outside in a place like Trost.” He answered. I took his hand and pulled myself up to walk with him. A pain seared through my leg. Shit! I forgot about that fucking glass bottle that was thrown at my leg. Levi saw me wince and looked down at my leg. It was still bleeding, but not as bad as before. "What happened to your leg?" He asked without emotion. "I-I-... Can we talk about it later?" I asked. I realized how tired I still was. He nodded slightly and wrapped his arm around me to support my leg. “Hey Levi….” I murmured carelessly, the lack of sleep finally catching up to me. “Hm?” He answered, focusing on the sidewalk. “You’re...you’re shorter than I’d thought you’d be.” I said dumbly. I don’t know why I said it, and the glare he gave me told me I’d regret it when I was more awake. “Just shut the fuck up until we get to my place.” He said curtly.

      The rest of the walk was a blur; I don’t even remember walking up the steps until we got to the doorstep of his apartment. He fumbled in his pocket until he managed to get the keys out, unlocking the door. He opened it and beckoned me in. “Wow….this is amazing.” I whispered in awe. Damn. This is a pretty good looking apartment. As I looked around I saw that the entire place was perfectly clean, not exactly what I would have expected from a rock star. I collapsed onto the couch as Levi went into the kitchen. He came back a few minutes later with a cup of tea that he placed in front of me on the coffee table. "Drink that." He ordered. I was too tired to come up with a sassy comeback so I just did as he said. Before I could lay down Levi asked me again, “What happened to your leg, kid? I can’t do anything about it if I don’t know how it got like that.”

      Should I tell him what actually happened? It’s not like I could tell him _everything_. “Do you _really_ need to know?” I muttered. “Yeah, actually I do. And don’t try that lying bullshit you did last time either.” I sighed. Well, I guess lying wasn’t an option. “Just an incident with a glass bottle, ok?” I did NOT want to talk about this right now. I think he sensed how uncomfortable I was because he didn’t ask any more questions. He stood up and walked toward where I assumed the bathroom was, because he came back with bandages and a towel. Placing the towel under my leg, he rolled up my pant leg and started to silently clean the wound. I could feel myself starting to blush. _Oh my God stop blushing!_ I thought as I felt my face grow even more red. I hoped Levi couldn’t see me. At least the room was pretty dark, and I was pretty tan, so I hoped it wouldn't be noticeable.

      “Will you stop fucking blushing?” Levi asked without looking up. I buried my face in my hands. _Oh God, he noticed_. As Levi was finishing and wrapping up my leg, I heard the door open. I looked out from between my fingers and saw two strangers standing there. They both looked about my age. One was a brunette kid with a ton of freckles all over him and the other one had dirty blonde hair and a dumb face that reminded me of a horse. “Um...Are we interrupting something here?” asked horse face with a smirk. Levi responded with “Shut the fuck up and close the door, Jean.”

      “Who’s this?” Asked freckles, smiling. “I-I-I’m Eren.” I stuttered. I was never good at meeting new people. “Hi Eren, I’m Marco.” This guy seemed really nice. Jean stepped forward. “Levi, are you going to tell us why you have a random kid in your apartment?” I don’t like this guy. He irks me.

      “Wow Levi, I didn’t know your apartment was also a horse stable.” I muttered. Levi smirked. I guess Jean had heard me too, because he glared at me and curled his fists. “What the fuck did you just say?” He started stepping forward and I leaned back into couch. Now what did i get myself into? Luckily Marco grabbed his arm before he could get any closer. “Jean, don’t.” He whispered. “Yeah, I don’t need blood all over my nice clean couch.” Levi commented.

“Who is this kid, anyway?” Jean asked Levi. “He and his friend are going to join the band.” He responded simply, cleaning up the first aid kit. “WHAT?” I gasped. Being in a band with Levi, the greatest singer in the world? Was I still dreaming?

“Levi. What the FUCK.” Jean said furiously. “You never said anything about this.”

“I said I would find 2 more members, and that’s exactly what I did.” Levi stated. “Is there a problem?”

“Yeah, theres a big fucking problem.” Yeah, I DEFINITELY did not like Jean. Marco interrupted, “I think what Jean is trying to say is that you might have asked us before you invited them into the band.” _Was this kid always so polite?_ I thought. Horse face spoke up again. “Did you even KNOW this kid 12 hours ago?”

“No.” Levi responded, shrugging. Jean let out a heavy sigh, “Do you even know his name? Or what he does? What if he’s some wannabe?” Jean asked. Levi glanced at me and I mouthed my name. “His name is Eren.” He said matter o' factly. Jean rolled his eyes, “Well what do you do? What's your talent? What is it, Eren?” He sneered. “Jean, stop-” Marco tried intervening but Jean kept going “Tell me.” He demanded. I gazed at pony boy with defiance. “I can sing.” I spoke, making my voice just as condescending as his. “Well, sing, Eren.” he mocked.

      I looked up at Levi, who was already looking at me. Shit. I set myself up for that one. Damn. “Let the kid rest first, he's had a long night.” Levi said calmly, “I’d probably sound like shit if I had been through what he has tonight.” Jean rolled his eyes yet again. “Whatever. We’re going to be back here tomorrow, Eren.” Sneering at me one last time, he marched out the door angrily. “Bye, Eren! Nice to meet you!” Said Marco, still smiling, and followed after Jean, closing the door behind him.

“So who were they?” I asked Levi who was lying himself on his couch. “My new bandmates. They’re new, and they have no idea what they’re doing half the time.” He said simply, smirking a bit. New bandmates?

“What?!” I shouted, “What happened to Erwin?! Gunter?! or Eldo?” I asked, trying to sound calmer. Oh my God, my favorite band ever were broken up and I just found out. “So THAT’S why you haven’t made any new albums!” I thought out loud. Levi just rolled his eyes. “We broke up, brat. That stuff happens, and there’s not much to it.” He said with no emotion. “But you were bandmates! how does that-” “It happens.” he spoke harshly. I could tell he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I slumped down in defeat. “So, when do you want me to leave?” I whispered “Oh, you’re not.” Levi stated. “Huh?” I asked, dumbfounded. “You’re not going anywhere with that leg of yours, and it’s way too late, so give me your phone and I’ll charge it for you.” He ordered, standing up from his couch and taking my phone to what I think is his room. He came back with a thick dark green blanket.

“Sleep with this” he says, basically dropping it on my face. “Thanks” I muttered, my voice muffled by the giant blanket. I arrange the blanket so it’s comfortable and lay down. My mind was whirring with all the things that had happened. I lay there for a while, thinking, until sleep finally took over.

 

“Eren!” I opened my eyes to see Levi above me. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty, it’s almost noon.” I rolled off the couch tiredly, catching myself just before I hit the floor. It took me a minute to remember why I was here.

“What’s Armin’s number?” Levi asked. “What?” I groaned, still not fully awake. “I said, what’s Armin’s number?” he repeated. “Yeah, but WHY do you need his number.” I clarified. “To call him? Why else would someone need a phone number?” “WHY do you need to call him?!” I was getting frustrated at this point. “Don’t you want to see him?” Truth was, I’d never actually seen Armin in real life, we’d met over the internet and had just been texting and skyping, and stuff like that. “Y-Yeah. Of course I do.” I stuttered. "So what. Is. His. Fucking. Number.”

      I rolled on the floor like a child, and I think I just saw Levi cringe a bit. “Why can’t _I_ just call him?” I asked. “Because.” He said bluntly. “If I have to ask you one more time…” He started, giving me the death glare “Fine.”I groaned. I told him Armin’s number as he dialed it on his cell phone. I could faintly hear the ringing from Levi’s phone and Armin’s voice.

“Hello?” He asked. “Hi, Armin. This is Levi.”

“W-What? Who?”

“This is Levi. Yes, Levi from Counterattack.”

“What? Seriously? Is this Eren?”

“No, this isn’t him.”

“Eren, this isn’t funny-”

"You’re right, because it’s fucking Levi right now.”

      I could hear Armin’s side of the phone go silent “Really?!” I swear his voice just went up like ten fucking pitches higher. “Yes, really, Armin. Eren gave me your number-”

“Eren's in your _house_?!” His voice got even higher, and knowing him he’s probably hyperventilating or something. “Yep. He said you two were going to try to start a band. Do you want to come here, to my apartment, and make a band with me, or at least pick up your bratty friend?”

“Oh my gosh YES!” he cried “Great.” Levi said emotionlessly, “I want you here in an hour.” He gave Armin his address. I could hear Armin giving him a crap ton of “Thank you so much, sir!” with that little voice of his. Levi bent down to where I was still laying on the floor, “Armin wants to talk to you. Tell him to stop being so formal, it’s weird for me.” He said, handing me his black smartphone.

“Armin?” I asked, standing up finally, my leg feeling much better. “EREN, YOU’RE IN TROST?! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME! I COULD HAVE PICKED YOU UP! OH MY GOD, EREN, I DON”T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE SCOLDING YOU OR TRYING TO HUG YOU FROM THE PHONE. JUST HOLY CRAP.” Armin exclaimed breathlessly. I laughed a bit “I’m alright, Armin. I was gonna call you and tell you, but my stupid phone fucking died.” I replied “Isn’t this great, Armin? We’re going to be in a band with Levi. _The_ Levi. And I finally get to see you, too….” “Eren, you’re insane. You know that, right? I can’t believe this is happening. I just can’t... Just...You’re amazing, Eren, thank you. I can’t wait to see you!” He said, the last part more softly than the rest. “I’m glad you’re okay, Eren, and I can’t wait to finally see you, but you owe me a serious explanation.” “I know, I know.” I look up and hear Levi. “You’ll see him in one hour. I don’t have all day to listen to you two talk. Tell him to grab his keyboard and get over here. Jean and Marco will be here at 2:30, so I suggest you get dressed.” He tossed my bag on me. “Bye, Armin, see you in an hour!” I responded, and hung up.

“Um...Where should I get changed?” I asked. “I don’t give a fuck. Just get changed in the bathroom or something.” I get up and walked to where I had guessed the bathroom would be, bringing my duffel bag. I grab a shirt and pants randomly, and threw them on. As I looked in the mirror, I noticed how bad I actually looked. My hair was a complete mess and I had dark circles under my eyes. This was NOT how I wanted to look in front of my idol, not to mention my best friend. I somehow combed out my hair with my fingers and left the room. I threw my bag on the couch where I had slept and walked into the kitchen where Levi was, to find him making more tea.

      I saw the clock and noticed it was a quarter past twelve. 45 minutes until I see my best friend in real life for the first time. “Do you want any?” Levi asks. “Um…” I wasn’t really a big tea person. “Yeah, sure.” _God, stop being so nervous around him,_ I remind myself. Levi looks over at me after placing the tea on the stove. My eyes widened. _Stop staring at him, you’re being creepy!_ I think, but it takes about 5 more seconds for me to take my eyes off him. What is wrong with me today?

“Do you need anything to eat?” he asked without looking at me. “No, I’m fine.” I respond. I suddenly remember- “MIKASA” I gasp, before running into the room where Levi had put my phone. I unplug it from the wall and dial her number, my hands shaking. 

     "What am I going to tell her?” I think as I hold the phone to my ear. It rings a few times before she answers. “M-Mikasa?”

“Eren, are you okay?” she asked, sounding concerned.

”Mikasa, Where are you right now?” I asked. Shit, how am I going to explain this to her?

“I came home, dad’s not feeling well” she answered. _Well of course he’s not feeling well that prick was drunk as fuck last night._

“Where are you?” She asks.

“I-I’m at a friend’s.” I lie. Well, partially lie. “Mikasa… maybe you shouldn’t stay at our house tonight.”

“What? Why not?”

“Just listen to me Mikasa, stay at as many friends houses as you can.” I could hear her falter a bit before speaking again.

“Eren ,where are you? I’m picking you up.”

“I’m not telling you” I say childishly “Eren-” She started.

“Don’t try to look for me. Please. I’m fine, just keep doing awesome and stay away from home, okay? I’ll send money when I can” I said, trying to somewhat comfort her. I’m not that comforting of a person.

“Eren, please tell me where you are. You’re scaring me.” She whispered worriedly.

“Don’t be scared,” I said trying to cheer her up, forcing my own voice to be more cheery. “Don’t worry Mikasa, just be safe, and call me whenever, alright?” I continued.

“Eren?”

“Yeah Mikasa Sucasa?” trying to bring in that light hearted presence we used to have as children.

“I love you. You better answer your phone.” I smiled as she said this. “I love you too, and I will.” I replied, hearing her click her phone off.

      I turned around and turned my phone off, too. As I lifted my head I saw Levi standing in the doorway. I froze.

“Sister?” He asked, leaning against the door frame. “I….Yeah…” I answered softly. He nodded slowly.

“How long were you listening?”

“Almost all of it.” He said honestly. I didn’t know what to say. What am I _supposed_ to say? I looked into his dark silver eyes as I realized mine were blurred with tears. _Don’t start crying now,_ I tell myself _Not now._ I walk past Levi and sit back on the couch, wiping the tears that had spilled down my face. I don’t know how long I sat there, but I still hadn’t seen Levi when I heard the doorbell ring.I took a few deep breaths, preventing anymore tears from falling. As I stood up to answer the door, I saw Levi was swiftly pass me and get there first. I stood in front of him, looking into his eyes again.

“Look, I have a lot of shit to explain, but please don’t bring this up in front of Armin. I wanna be happy when I see my best friend for the first time.” I whispered, before giving him an excited smile. “Thank you, Levi.” I said, not giving him a chance to talk.

“Just answer the goddamn door, brat.” He said, smirking. I took an over exaggerated breath before opening the door. Standing there was a short little blonde kid, with his hair in a ponytail, and wearing a hoodie a bit too big for him. “Armin!” I whispered breathlessly. “You’re even shorter than I imagined, too!” I cheered, extending my arms out for a hug from this little guy. He instantly jumped on me like koala or something. “EREN!” he cried clinging on to me “It’s finally you.” he murmured. I gripped him tighter and spun us around, both of us laughing like little idiots. When we pulled away he spoke, “I can’t believe you’re here! We can...I don’t even know where to begin…” he said breathlessly. I just laughed some more and pulled him in another tight hug he gripped my shirt. “Eren...you look so tired” he whispered. I smirked “I know I don’t look as sexy as I usually do, but I’m fine Armin, some shit happened, but I’m fine.” I spoke quietly to him. He looked up at me with a look with understanding as he nodded.

      His eyes drifted to the right of me and his jaw dropped. “YOU’RE LEVI.”

“Why do people always insist on telling me my own name?” Levi responded. Armin ran over there and hugged him, startling him.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He asked, his eyes widening. “You’re Levi!” Armin repeated, as Levi pushed him off. “God, you two are strange.” He said, taking a seat on the couch.

      Armin and I smiled stupidly at each other and followed him. “Eren,” said Armin, “You have a lot of explaining to do.”  I gave him a cheeky smile “I know. But right now we have to prove ourselves to these little fuckers.”  I replied, passion in my voice. I looked over to see Levi sitting cross legged in a chair with a smirk. “You’re a monster.” He chuckled. _Damn right I am, Levi. And you haven’t seen nothing from us yet._ I thought with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment if you enjoyed it, or if you found a mistake!


	3. Save Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hey guys! The song we used in this chapter is Save yourself by My Darkest Days! We don't own it.)

      I hear the door open and close without anyone knocking. I look up to see Jean and Marco entering, and bouncing in enthusiastically behind them was a woman I’d never met before. I looked at the clock and saw it was already a little past 2:30. Id been explaining what I could to Armin for over an hour, and he'd been telling me about how he'd been. Mostly, we were just happy to see each other.

      The woman I didn't know ran over to me, smiling, and held out her hand. "Awwwww! You must be Eren! Look how cute you are! Levi, look at this boy’s face! He’s like a little racoon!" She exclaimed. I shook her hand nervously. "I'm Hanji, the band's manager!" She had brown hair pulled up in a messy ponytail and wore rectangular glasses that made her eyes look larger than they already were. She reminded me of Dory from Finding Nemo. She walked over to Armin and introduced herself to him as well.

"Hi, Levi!" She said turning to him. He stated unenthusiastically, "Hi, Hanji."

"Did the little blonde kid bring his keyboard?" asked horse-face. "Yeah, I did. And you are?" Armin asked. "I'm Jean." He stated bluntly. "And I'm Marco!" I heard from behind him as Marco stepped toward Armin. "Hi!"

"Are you all done with your little tea party yet?" Asked Levi, leaning back into the couch and taking a sip of his tea. Even I didn’t miss the irony in that.

      "I'm ready when Armin is." I responded. He nodded at me and grabbed his keyboard. "So? What are you performing?" Questioned Jean, taking my spot on the couch when I got up. Oh, shit. We hadn't discussed that at all. What would we perform. I looked at Armin, with a panicked look on my face. Armin only looked surprised for like half a fucking second but slowly smiled with this cunning little smile I’ve never saw before. He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his hoodie pocket “This is a song Eren and I made when skyping, we spent a month on this It’s called Save Yourself-” “You brought that?!” I asked in an outburst. Holy shit, he actually bought the fucking song, we practiced that for like forever. Oh, we are going to NAIL that fucker. Jean seemed unimpressed, though. “Ooooh you wrote your own song, how exciting.” He said sarcastically. “I know right!” Hanji intervened, not getting his dumb sarcasm. I don’t care what anyone says, this woman is Dory and no one will change my mind.

      Armin plugged up his keyboard, handing me the lyrics to our song. “Here you go, just in case you need it.” he said with a small smile. “Armin. This is my fucking jam. I don’t need this.” I replied with a cocky smile. Hell yeah I don’t. “Here, Ponyboy, in case you can’t keep up with me.” I smirked, dropping the paper in his face, the lyrics falling to the floor. His face was priceless. It was all ugly and scrunched up with rage... It was awesome. I took a glance at Levi, who gave the most amused smirk I’ve ever seen. Marco came in handing me a mic, and I thanked him and turned to Armin. “Alright, Armin,” I said, clapping my hands, “Let’s blow these fuckers away.” I exclaimed. I felt like I was on fire. Armin gave me another determined smile, “Right.” He said.

      I gripped the mic, _Alright, Eren, no more holding back. Let it out._ Armin began playing the keys This is it.

I’m the devil’s son

straight out of hell

And you’re an angel with a haunted heart

If you’re smart you’d run and protect yourself

From the demon living in the dark

There’s nothing to be gained cause I can never change

And you can never understand my sickness

      I felt even more energy fuel inside me, I wrote these lyrics you know. They’re pretty damn personal. My voice was gaining more strength as I continued with the chorus.

Save yourself

From a life full of lies

and a heart full of pain and sorrow

Save yourself

From the choices I make

cause nothing but failure follows me

Save yourself

      I could feel my emotions surging in this song. Every feeling from my old life was coming back, the memories, the reminder of who I really am. A monster. I wasn’t even even paying attention to their faces, all I’m doing is continuing this, finally getting it out. I’m almost done with the song, each lyric getting ripped out of me. The final part until the last chorus comes.

I’m overcome by shame

cause I can never change

And you can never understand my sickness   

      I smiled as i sang this. These were my favorite lyrics, that was basically me right there. I took a breath before spilling the last chorus out with as much passion I can without  spontaneously combusting. My grip on the microphone grew even tighter as I dipped my head and the final note was done.

      As I brought my head up, I saw Levi looking at me, somewhat impressed, which was surprising for him. Hanji was standing and smiling with her mouth open. "That was great, Eren!" She grabbed my shoulders, "You HAVE to join the band!" And looking at Armin added, "You too Armin! Great job!" Jean rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Marco was smiling at me. "Wow! That was really good!"

"It was OKAY." Said Jean, rolling his eyes, arms crossed. Marco placed a hand on his shoulder “Don’t be like that, Jean. You know they did great.” He chimed light heartedly with a smile still on his face. Does this guy ever not smile? He was like freckled Jesus or something. Jean rolled his eyes again. “Whatever.” he muttered. Hanji kept spinning around with crazed smile, “Levi, weren’t they just amazing?! They have to join, like, right now! Can we keep them? Please?!” She squealed. I couldn’t help but look at Levi. I REALLY want to know what he thought.

He gave Hanji a disapproving look. “Hanji, these are like, 16-”

“18” Armin corrected. I smirked at him. Armin hated being mistaken for being younger than he was. “Okay, 18, according to coconut over here. Hanji, you just can’t "keep" 18 year old brats.” _Can he just tell us what he thought?_ Hanji rolled her eyes “You know what I meant, Gosh Mr. Grumpy Gills” _Levi. I need you to tell me what you think._ He opened his mouth to respond to Hanji. _Levi. No._ “I’m not being grumpy I’m just telling you-” “You ARE being grumpy. You always are.” Hanji interrupted him. _Levi give me your opinion._ Levi crossed his arms. “Well some people get grumpy dealing with immature people like you” He said sassily. Hanji faked being outraged, “What do you mean?! I am your MANAGER! I am very mature.”

      I looked to see even Armin looking a little bit desperate too. _Levi, please don’t respond. Please. I can’t take this._ “YOU forced yourself to be manager.” Levi fired. I felt myself twitch. _Levi, I can’t take it anymore, just tell me if we’re in or not._ “I EARNED my job as manager!” Hanji fired back. “Well-”

“GOD DAMNIT LEVI JUST TELL US WHAT YOU FUCKING THOUGHT OF OUR FUCKING PERFORMANCE.”

      Was that my voice that just yelled at him? Oh crap. It was. That was me who just snapped and actually told Levi to do something. No one told Levi what to do. Everyone looked in my direction, eyes wide.

      Levi quirked his pierced eyebrow at me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable “Please...” I said in a small voice. Everyone ignored Hanji’s “Aw...” in the background. Levi eyed me before smirking evilly. “Well someone's impatient. Wouldn’t you rather want to know someone else’s opinion first? Like Jean’s-”

“NO.” I interrupted again. _No. Just no._

“Alright kid, you want to know what I thought of it? Fine. It wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t completely shit.” He said with that blunt voice of his. I almost lost it. He said it wasn’t completely bad. Oh my god. This huge smile started creeping on my face. “Was it good shit?” I asked hopefully. “What? Sure. It was great shit.” Levi said sarcastically.

“What? You actually like this?” Jean asked, dumbfounded. “Well, yeah, I’m not stupid. The brats are good at what they do.” Levi said bluntly. “Being brats?” Jean asked stupidly. “Not as good as you are being a prick, Jean.” Levi fired. Marco snickered at Jean’s face and moved closer to Armin and I and whispered “Burn!” giggling a bit. Jean looked even more astonished. “MARCO!” He gasped, a betrayed look in his eyes.

       Armin finally spoke up, his uncomfortable look wearing off. “I’m sorry to bother, but does this mean we’re in the band?” He asked. Hanji practically tackled him, “Of course, sweetie! We love you!” She cheered, squeezing the now blushing Armin. As she pulled back, she faced us with a smile. “Come on, I’ll treat you two with coffee, wherever you want! While we do that, I’ll give you our schedule and just discuss with you about everything.” She said, eyes shining behind her glasses. Armin gave me a look and I shrugged, “Yeah, that would be really great Hanji, thank you.” Armin said professionally. “Yeah, thanks.” I followed with him smile. Hanji clapped her hands. “Alright! Great! Just tell me what time you two want to head on over there and-” “How about now? It’s three-thirty now.” Levi interrupted. Hanji looked at her watch “Well looky there, you’re right. Let’s go, you two.” She said taking each of our hands and heading out the door. I noticed Levi not following, and just taking a seat on his white couch. Marco and Jean were already walking out the door. They didn’t look like they were coming along. “Wait! aren’t you guys coming too?” I asked.

      Levi gave me a look, “Of course not, I’ve had enough of people today.” He said casually.

“I’m sorry Eren, Jean and I have somewhere to go-” Marco started. “He means fuck each other.” Levi said breaking in.  What does he mean “Huh?” I asked dumbly. I could see Marco turning red behind me. He looked like a little strawberry with his red face and freckles. Jean looked petrified. “COME ON, MARCO. LET'S GO.” He ordered loudly and awkwardly, pulling him away by his hand. Levi smirked, not moving from the couch. “They’re together?!” I asked. They can't be. Marco was this little freckled Jesus and Jean was a stupid horse. Just how?

“Eren, did you not notice all that sexual tension? I barely know them and I saw it.” Armin said, shaking his head at me.

“Not that I’m not interested in the sexual tension between our bandmates,” Levi interrupted “But there are more important things to talk about."

“Like?” I asked.

“Like where you’re going to live?” Levi responded. Armin quickly answered, “He’s going to stay with me at my apartment.”

“No, he’s not.” Levi stated simply. “What are you talking about?” Asked Armin.

“How long have you had your apartment?” Levi questioned. “I-About a month.” answered Armin. He must have seen Levi look at him with disapproval because he continued, “I almost got it fixed up. It’s fine Levi, it really is. I already offered it to Eren, so that’s why he came over here. We’re going to split rent and stuff..." Levi’s not changing one bit.

“You’re eighteen Armin, this is most likely your first apartment, and it’s probably really tiny and not built for two people, am I right?” He stood up, facing Armin. _Are they really discussing on where I’m living when I’m right here?_ Armin faltered, “Levi it’s fine. Eren’s my best friend and now bandmate. It’ll be more convenient anyways, we can handle-”

“No, you can’t. Trust me, Armin, having someone move in with you when you’ve barely moved in yourself is going to be shit. When I was eighteen, I got my own place and immediately had a band member move in. It was hell. I don’t care how buddy buddy you are with Eren, having him move in with you is going to be shit right now. If you want him in that badly, at least get your shit together first.”

“But I do-”

“No you don’t Armin. You can’t have your shit together in a fucking month, that’s not how it works.” Levi said, cutting him off as his gaze softened “At least wait a few months until you truly got it all under control again. You’re finally independent, now. Enjoy it at least for a little bit.” He suggested. “But what about Eren?” Armin protested. _Well, maybe if you asked Eren who’s standing right next to you Armin, you might know._

“Guys, I’m right here-”

“Quiet Eren, I’m thinking.” Levi stroked his fingers on his chin. _You have got to be fucking kidding me._ Levi finally sighed. “I guess the little brat can live with me or something” He said. "But-" Armin started to protest again. "Do you see any better options?" Levi interrupted. "I-I guess not..." Armin said quietly. "Then it's settled. Eren can stay with me until you can get your shit together."

"Um-" I started "Do I get any say in this?" Levi moved his gaze towards me. “No.” He said plainly. _Okay._

“Um-” Hanji started 

“What, Hanji?” Levi said, scowling at her. “Am I going to get them coffee or what?” She asked, shuffling her feet, “I told Molbit I’d be back at five, so….” “You can give them everything tomorrow, Hanji.” “But I really wanna take these little guys to get coffee and explain everything, I’m really excited...please?” she pleaded. Levi narrowed his eyes “Knowing you, if you take them right now, you’ll lose track of time and then Molbit loses his shit and gets a heart attack” He says, but Hanji just laughs “That’s not even possible Molbit is only-” “Hanji, don’t worry the poor guy for once.” He interrupted. He is interrupting the shit out of everyone today, damn. Hanji sighed. "I guess you're right, Levi." She looked over to me and Armin. "It was wonderful meeting you two! Let's get that coffee tomorrow, okay?" She waved as she walked out the front door. Levi, Armin, and I sat in an awkward silence for a minute before Armin broke the silence, "Well, I think I should be going now." 

      He grabbed his keyboard and stepped to the door. "It was an honor to meet you, sir!" He added as he walked out the door. 

"Would you tell that kid to stop being so damn formal all the time?" Levi muttered, setting down his tea. "Anyway, you need to go take a shower, you're making this whole place filthy." 

“Fine,” I sighed. I got up and walked to the bedroom. With the exception of my bag and phone, the place was spotless. I grab my pajama pants and a loose T shirt from the pile of crumpled clothes in the duffle bag and zipped it back up. As I was nearing the door, I spotted my phone and decided I should check it, just in case Mikasa had texted me. _Two new messages._ Awesome. I unlock my phone and open up the messages app. _Are you ok?_ and the second one, _Eren, please tell me where you are, I’m worried._

      I texted back, _Mikasa, I’m fine. You don’t need to come looking for me. You’re staying away from the house, right?_ and hit send. I grab my phone, just in case she texts back, and head into the bathroom. Holy shit, this is the fanciest bathroom I’ve ever seen. I run the hot water and step away to let it warm up. I look up and barely recognize the person in the mirror. My temporary hair fix obviously hadn’t lasted long, and I just didn’t look like myself. I pull my eyes away and unwrapped my leg. It still looked bad, but it was healing ok. I carefully test the water and step in the shower. 

      When I step out, I grab a towel and dry off. I throw on the pajamas I had brought in with me and dry my hair. It was still messy, but at least it was clean. I glance at my phone and see Mikasa had texted me back. _Yes, but I need to know why._ I typed out _I’m going to have to tell you, but I can’t right now. Just try to stay away for the next couple days while I figure everything out. Be safe, okay?_ and sent it, sighing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell her something like this, and even if I did, what could she do? I just needed more time, and as long as she was doing what I’d asked, she’d be fine. 

      I step out of the bathroom and throw my phone in the bedroom. “What do you want for dinner?” I heard from the kitchen. “Doesn’t matter to me.” I replied, shrugging. “Good, because I already ordered chinese.” I raised my eyebrow, _Then why did you bother asking me?_ “Works for me.” I say, sitting down. Levi steps in the room and stops as he sees me. “What are you wearing?” he asks. “I-I’m just wearing PJs. I know it’s a little early but-” Oh. I was wearing a Counterattack shirt from I concert I had gone to last year. It has a close up of Levi’s face, this shirt was my baby. “I don’t need to stare at my own fucking face all night. That’s weird.” He said, making a face. “Well, I don’t really have anything else to wear.” I say, embarrassed. “I don’t want to deal with this, so I guess you’ll just have to wear one of mine.” He said, walking into the bedroom. He came back out with a grey oversized T-shirt and threw it on me. “Wear this.” He said, sitting down. I got up and walked down the hallway. I threw my shirt onto my bag, not bothering to put it inside, and put on Levi’s. It was big on me, but it looked better like that. All Levi’s other shirts would probably have been too small for me anyway. 

      I walk back to the living room and sit in the same spot I had been before. I look at the time. 5:00. We didn’t have anything to do, so we just sat there. It felt awkward to me, but he seemed completely comfortable with the silence. I looked out the window and rested my head on my arm perched up on the couch. I sat like that until I saw the delivery guy’s car drive up to the house. I looked back at Levi, who seemed to have been looking out the window, or somewhere near me at least, and saw him look away quickly. Weird. The doorbell rang and he walked to the door to answer it. I heard a quick exchange of words as Levi pulled out his wallet to pay and then put it back in his pocket. He brought the food over to the coffee table and started taking food out. 

“I didn’t know what you wanted, so I just got random stuff.” 

“That’s fine, I’m sure I’ll like something.” I just grabbed some soup and a spoon and leaned back into the couch. Levi glanced over at me and took his own food. “So,” he said uncomfortably, looking like he was trying to start a conversation, “Is your sister okay?” I was surprised- Levi seemed like he would prefer to sit in silence. I hated silence, so I responded, “Yeah, she’s fine. She’s staying at a friend’s. I just have to figure out what I’m going to tell her.” 

     I stared blankly at the table, again thinking about what I could tell her. I tried to clear my mind, but there were too many thoughts coming at once. I looked up and met Levi’s silver eyes, before quickly looking away. “She’s fine.” I repeated. “That’s good,” he said without emotion. “If I’m going to let you live here, you’re going to have to explain yourself.” he added. 

“What do you want to know?” I answered quickly. “I want to know what happened. The whole story.” My head started pounding. He could tell if I lied, I knew it, and I was still nervous about telling him anything, honestly. I had only just met him, even if I had been a fan of him before. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “I...I don’t know if I can talk about it.” I said quietly focusing on my knees “Look kid, if I’m going to let you stay here, I got to know what’s going on, for all I know you could be a fucking mexican drug lord on the run.” He replied. “I’m not even Mexican, I’m like German and Turkish” I countered. Levi shrugged, “Well, you didn’t deny the drug lord part.” He said casually.

“Do I look like a drug lord?” I questioned scooting to face him. “Well, you have that criminal, bad boy look going on for you, like Jean does. Messy hair, crazy looking eyes, and such.” He said, smirking. “You were that little bad kid that fucked all the girls weren’t you?” He assumed with a playful glint in his eyes. I just lost it, I actually laughed, maybe a bit darkly, but mostly out of pure amusement that was plain hilarious. “Pshhh. No, everyone hated me.” I giggled as Levi quirked an eyebrow. “Seriously, brat? What did you do to piss everyone off?” He asked, eyes wide. I guess he was pretty surprised by my reaction. 

“Okay, It was like the end of my sophomore year….I was actually considered a cool kid at the time,” I said, winking. Levi rolled his eyes. “Anyways, I was at this party and I was hanging out with this super popular girl, ugh, I can’t even remember her name now, it was something weird like Orangatang or something...and she started dancing on me… and I thought it was like a friend thing, so I was dancing too, then all of a sudden she started kissing me, and I immediately pulled back and asked what the fuck she was doing, and she told me I was giving her all the signals and we could do it in the closet while her boyfriend isn’t here. I told her I wasn’t interested in her, or girls at all, and she just immediately cried and slapped me.” I looked over at Levi who had this smug look on his face. All he said was “Go on.” I grinned, the awkwardness going away now. “And so then, I left her, and the next thing I know, her boyfriend comes over yelling he was going to kill me, and beat my gay ass, and everyone started circling around, screaming _fight_ like damn monkeys. I ended up beating his straight ass, and got kicked out of the party. I then realized that crowd was nothing but animals so I quit hanging out with them, and it just went to shit from there, I ended up getting in so many fights with them later, but yeah, that was my first fist fight...at least with a kid from school ,that is.” My eyes widened as I caught myself saying that last part. _Please don’t let him have heard that...please don’t._

      I tried laughing it off, still trying to bring back that lightheartedness. “Don’t give me that fakeass laughing bullshit, kid, I heard you.” He growled, the playful glint in his eye gone. “I...I…” I didn’t know what to say. I could feel my face heating up and my eyes started to burn. _Oh God, don’t cry in front of him. Just take deep breaths._ Levi could see I was uncomfortable and tried to change the subject. “So...What about your mom?” I inhaled sharply. “She-She died.” The room started spinning and I put my head in my hands as tears fell down my face. We sat there for what seemed like an eternity before Levi spoke. 

“I-I’m sorry.” I pulled up my head and wiped my face with my sleeve. “You couldn’t have known. Don’t worry about it, it's fine.” I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady, which was a complete failure right now. _God damnit Eren, can you stop crying? It’s fine now, and crying won’t fix anything. You’ve done all you could, so just-_ ”Don’t tell me not to worry, brat.” I heard his voice and felt an awkward arm put around me. He probably doesn't comfort people often. “If it’s going to break you down like this, don’t tell me until you’re ready, okay?” He said in a soft voice. I nodded, not meeting his eyes. “Look, tomorrow’s a new day. We can start all over, have your first practice, and forget about this. It’s sad seeing a little shit like you crying like this….People like you aren’t supposed to cry….It just doesn’t seem right” He spoke. Did his voice shake a little bit? I looked up to see the room: White walls and carpets, marble counter tops, everything was so damn, clean, neat, light. It was nothing like my home. Tiny, messy scattered, and dark. Oh god, I hate the fucking dark. I drifted my gaze towards Levi, tears still in my eyes. “Hey, Levi….thank you.” I said in a soft voice I didn’t even know I was capable of. He gave me a hard, serious gaze. “Whatever kid” was all he said. Something told me he meant a lot more than that.


	4. The First Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry It's been so long since we updated! The song we used in this chapter is Backseat Serenade by All Time Low.

      I opened my eyes. I had fallen asleep on the couch after last night. I looked to the right and saw Levi watching me. “So you’re finally up,” he said. “Today is our first rehearsal.” I sat up quickly. “If you’re going to sit there waiting for me to get up every day, why don’t you just wake me up?” I asked. Levi rolled his eyes “I’m not your mom.”  He said matter’ o factly. He quickly walked to the other room. Oh. Burn. I walked back into the bathroom to change, and pulled on a striped t-shirt and jeans. I walked back to the kitchen to proceed to eat some of Levi’s food-maybe I’ll eat a tea bag or something since tea seems to be the only fucking thing he eats. When I saw what was in front of me I freaked. I made the most awkward noise/ scream. There was Levi actually _eating_. He was actually eating, and it had nothing to do with tea. Well, I’m going to ignore the cup of it beside of him, but whatever.

“What?” he asked looking at me disapprovingly.

“You….you’re eating something…..you can eat…” I

“Well I don’t photosynthesize.” He responded sarcastically.

“Yeah but… I've never seen you eat before.”

      “That doesn’t mean I can’t.” I was dumbfounded. All I said was “Touche.” I shook my head and walked back to the couch. “When is everyone coming over?” I called. “They’re not.” He called back. “We go to Jean’s house to practice.” Ugh. I hated Jean. “Are you sure it’s Jean’s?” I groaned. “Yes Eren, I’m pretty sure it’s Jean's.” He replied. “But whyyyy?” I asked, childishly. I don’t wanna go to Jean’s. He seems like the type of guy to have a crap ton of self portraits everywhere or something like that, and if that’s true I don’t want to see his stupid face everywhere. Levi seemed to read my mind, “Jean is the only one with an actual house and space to  play. I don’t like it that much either his room is shit. But everyone deals with it so this better not turn into a damn Mean Girls movie when we get there.” He grunted, plopping next to me. “Yeah….That wouldn’t be very...fetch.” I giggled. I couldn’t contain it. Then that’s when Levi shoved a pillow in my face. “You little SHIT.” He playfully said smirking “Levi, is this pillow a carb?” I replied through the pillow “That’s horrible.” Levi said shoving it down my face farther.

      A few hours later, it was time to go and we got in Levi’s car. I sat in the shotgun and put my  seatbelt on. “You better behave when we get there.” He warned.  “I will…” I murmured. “Jean still isn’t happy about you and Armin being in the band, so if you mess up, we might have to kick you out.” He said as we pulled out of the parking lot by his apartment. “But Levi, you’re the leader!” I protested. “Well, Jean is actually pretty good on the drums, so if he decides to quit, he’ll take Marco with him, and we won’t have a band anymore.” He explained. I sighed and rested my head on the window. “It’s not my fault he hates me.”

“It’s your fault you don’t know when to stop being so damn sassy.” I said nothing and stared out the window until we pulled into Jean’s driveway. I got pulled out of the car by Levi and went up to the door. I had to admit, it was a pretty nice house. Levi walked in without knocking. When I stepped inside I saw Marco and Jean on the couch. “What’s up, losers?” said Jean. “Jean, don’t be mean!” said Marco. He stood up from where he was greeting us. It made me bite back the urge to call Jean horseboy. Levi leaned on their couch, his guitar case still in his hand. “So when are we starting? Are we waiting for Hanji?” He asked nonchalantly. Jean raised his head from the couch “As soon as the yellow coconut comes on over, Hanji said to start without her.” Jean replied. _Um, no. He’s not a coconut, He’s Armin fucking Arlert._ “His name is Armin.” I muttered.

“Armin as in Ar-shut up.” Jean said dumbly, laughing at his own joke.

“That wasn’t clever at all.” I interjected.

“Yeah, but you still should shut up, Eren.” Levi said, breaking in.  Jean smiled smugly. I think he caught on to the advantage he has and that I have no power here. I reluctantly stopped talking and we waited in silence until Armin pulled into the driveway and got his keyboard out of the trunk. He walking in and greeted us with “Hello!”

      Levi said “We can probably start setting up, so we’ll be ready to perform when Hanji gets here. We’re playing in the garage, yeah?” he said as he opened the garage door and turned on the light. It was pretty clean, though probably not up to Levi’s standards. The drums were already there and so was Marco’s bass. Armin started to set up his keyboard and Levi took out his guitar. I wasn’t sure what to do since I hadn’t brought anything. Levi handed me a microphone saying “We have to share one for today, but you’re going to have to get your own soon.” I nodded and took the mic. As we were finishing up, I heard Hanji open the garage door. “I see everyone’s already here.” She said brightly, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. “Are you ready for your first practice?” She asked me and Armin. We nodded uncertainly. “Oh, you’ll be fine!” She reassured us.

“We should start out with something the brat already knows.” Levi interrupted. “Hey, kid, you know all the old Counterattack songs?” I nodded eagerly. “Fine. We can play one of those.” He shuffled around in his bag before pulling out the lyrics. He took highlighters and carefully highlighted segments of the song in yellow and green. He handed it to me saying “The parts in yellow are your parts. We both sing the parts in green. You know the song, right?” I looked over the lyrics. Backseat Serenade. One of my favorite Counterattack songs. “Yeah, I know it.” I say smiling. I couldn’t believe I was playing a Counterattack song with Levi. “Wait, are you sure you want me to sing with you? Like….I might ruin it…” I murmured...Oh Jesus, I could never forgive myself if I ruined one of Counterattack’s most amazing songs ever, especially in front of their used to be lead singer. Levi rolled his eyes “No, we want you to strip in the background, of course I want you to sing this, fanboy, damn.” he said extra sassily. And he said I was too sassy, bitch please.  I almost said that out loud until I realized I can’t mouth off in Jean’s house. I gripped the mic in it’s stand with Levi moving closer to me so we could share, I can’t believe this. “Armin, do you know the notes for this song?” Levi asked looking over his shoulder at the little blonde. Armin gave him a determined look. “Of course!” he replied confidently. He totally knew this. He used to tell me how he always listened to the keyboard versions of Counterattack songs so he could cover them. I smiled at him. He’s got this. Armin plays the first notes and I start singing.

Lazy lover

Find a place for me again

You felt it once before

I know you did

I could see it

      I hear him sing the next lines and I feel my heartbeat as I prepare to sing the green-highlighted lyrics with Levi. Jean plays the drums in the background and I inhale deeply before singing.

Backseat serenade

Dizzy hurricane

Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone

You're salty like a summer day

Kiss the sweat away

To your radio

      We repeat the chorus and I hear the instrumental part playing behind me. I hear Levi’s voice singing his part. His voice sounds even better in real life. Oh my fucking god he’s great. It was so intriguing, and clear, it wasn’t super deep, just, every little lyric was so smooth.

You take me over

I throw you up against the wall

We've seen it all before

But this one's different

It's deliberate

You send me reeling

Calling out to you for more

The value of this moment lives in metaphor

Yeah, through it all

      I jump back in as we sing the chorus again. I could feel the beat drop in my head, Levi had his face close to mine to get in the mic better. He is so fucking close his eyes were so fucking intense, it was amazing seeing him like that. Usually he looks annoyed and disapproving but on stage, just wow. The last part of the chorus was coming, Levi was strumming furiously, my cue is coming up. I let a grin before going all in on the last chorus.

 

Backseat serenade

Dizzy hurricane

Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone

You're salty like a summer day

Kiss the sweat away

To your radio

Backseat serenade

Little hand grenade

Oh, aren't you sick of sleeping alone?

We're salty on a summer day

Kiss the pain away

To your radio

      Levi and I’s voices merged, sounding stronger than before, putting everything we got in it. I sung the very last lyric before the instruments faded out. We all let out a few “Woos!” celebrating, I kept ruffling Armin’s hair, both of us laughing like little kids. This was awesome. It really was. We suddenly paused at Hanji, sitting cross legged in a lawnchair, with a thoughtful look I had no idea she was capable of. I could see Marco and Jean hold their breath in anticipation, we all tightened up, except for Levi, of course, waiting for her to speak. Her eyes clearly meant business, she was about to fucking judge us.

      She's opening her mouth, she’s pausing, oh shit she’s paus-  “OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING, GUYS!” Hanji screamed, Levi covered his ears. She was hopping up and down like a bunny on crack. “Just amazing! Eren your voice, just, I can feel you singing, Eren. I can feel you in my soul, like, does that make sense? You and Levi sing beautiful together just oh my, and then the instruments! It was gorgeous. The only thing I would say is for Armin to play a little louder-we’ll have to get you a new keyboard soon. Other than that, it’s incredible!”

“Thanks for the awkward praise, Hanji.” I found myself saying. Hanji pulled me into a giant hug. “Of course! That was amazing-you and Levi were destined to sing together!” she pulled back with a spark in her eye “That’s it! It was destined! This is like a romance novel, the one time the hot bad boy Levi ever goes outside, he meets this adorable little guy with a broken past lying on the bench, and he takes him in and-” “Hanji, shut the fuck up.” Levi snapped crossly. Jean stepped down from his drums. “This is a band, not a dumb romance book club.” He declared. Hanji glared at him. Something told me she was in a romance book club.

“Do that again a few more times, then we’ll have break time and discuss the band name and what’s going on for next Wednesday.” Hanji declared. We sighed before getting back in our positions. “What’s going on Wednesday?” I whispered to Levi. “We wear pink.” He muttered, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes before turning to Marco. “It’s our first showing.” He answered cheerily. “Okay ladies, let’s do this shit again!” Jean called tapping his drumsticks to do the ‘one, two, three’

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, Hanji was right. Levi and I can sing pretty damn good together.

      After it was over, we made our way to the couch. Armin sat neatly down, while I somewhat rudely threw myself down, resting my head on Armin’s lap. Jean must have saw this because he smacked my head as I walked, I tried to trip him but he moved too fast and proceeded to smirk. “So, for the name?” He started, sitting beside Marco, his arm lazily around him. Levi spoke up beside me. _When did he get there?_ “Maybe… Something with freedom. I think we all value it here.” He spoke thoughtfully. That’s when it hit me. “Guys.” I started, everyone and Armin looking down on his lap to meet my eyes, “How about...The Vengeance.”

      Jean snorted, “That is the single stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” I gave him a death glare and looked to Levi. “Sorry, kid. I’m with Jean on this one.” I stared at them in disbelief. Even Marco didn’t say anything. “Fine. What do you think it should be?”

“I like the idea with freedom that Levi said!” Armin piped in. Marco smiled at him “Maybe...Wings….Wings….-” “OF VENGEANCE” I broke in. “Shut the fuck up Eren! We’re not naming it Vengeance.” Jean exclaimed. Levi looked down at me “You're no longer aloud to talk, Eren” He declared. “But- Armin” I looked up to see if my oh so very best friend would help me out. “You heard him Eren.” was all he said. Suck up. Marco spoke up again, “How about...Wings of Freedom?” He looked around. Levi looked thoughtful and nodded his head. “That could work, actually.” He said. “Sounds good to me!” Said Armin. I muttered “I guess that’s ok.” and Jean grabbed Marco’s hand. “I think it’s great.”

Hanji stood up. “And I like it,too! Good idea, Marco!” Marco blushed. “Now it’s time to get that coffee I’ve been promising you!”

“Actually, Hanji, I think you should take Eren clothes shopping. All he has is a few shirts in his bag.”

“I don’t need anything else!” I insisted. “Yes you do.” Said Levi.

“Sounds great!” Exclaimed Hanji, enthusiastically grabbing my hand and tugging me out to her car. “Bye! You fucking JERK.” I managed to shout back before I got in the passenger seat and put on my seat belt. “Come on, Eren! Let’s go on an adventure!” Hanji exclaimed, basically flooring her car out of the driveway. “You forgot Armin.” I said, just remembering about him, “I’ll take Armin later, I have too many ideas for you, sweet cheeks!” She replied, winking. “Oh.” was all I managed to say. I don’t like this. I want to go back. It was like five minutes until we got to the mall, probably because Hanji was DRIVING LIKE A FUCKING MANIAC. I shouldn’t really be talking though, I’ve been told I’m a rather...creative driver as well. As we walked in, she instantly grabbed my arm again. “Let’s take you to Hot Topic first!” she declared dragging me to the store. And that was when I was forced to wear leather pants for the first time. I couldn’t believe this. I sighed, looking in the mirror of the dressing room, they were tight. Holy shit, it looked like paint. I stepped out and Hanji screamed “You are adorable!” She cried, her eyes bulging as she gazed at my legs. “Wow, Eren, did you play sports? Look at your legs!” She breathed. For once, I couldn’t reply to someone. This was too much. “Uh…-” “Let’s get three!” Hanji decided smiling. After that, it got even more downhill from there. It was a mortifying blur.

“Hanji...there’s eyeliner in this bag” I started uneasily. We ended up getting three pairs of leather pants, two pairs of skinny jeans…four shirts...Jesus Christ, are those chains? One of the shirts was ripped. “Of course there is! I’m putting eyeliner on you at the show Wednesday!” My eyes widened. “Oh, you are?” I asked, shocked. Hanji looked over at me and gave me a gaze that told me she meant it “Yup.” was all she said. I grimaced. “Okay.” I said, defeated. Something told me you shouldn't disagree with Hanji. After the encounter with the eyeliner we somehow got on the subject of Levi. I think it was because I instantly turned the volume up, belting out the lyrics to an older Counterattack song on the radio. Just maybe.

 

“Did I ever tell you how well you and Levi harmonize together?” She asked. Her expression actually looked thoughtful. I shrugged “You mentioned it a little bit at practice.” I replied, blushing. What? How would you react if someone told you you and your idol harmonized well together? “Well, you do. Your voices match up well together it’s actually amazing. Sure, Levi can probably hit some certain notes you can’t, but Eren, I have never heard someone sing with as much emotion as you do. Your voice is strong, too. It complements Levi’s a lot.” She said wistfully, with a soft smile. She seemed to be lost in thought, but she carried on.”This may sound a bit crazier than usual, but you actually brought Levi’s passion today.” She murmured, “Um, what?” I asked. I did NOT, this man was a fucking god he didn’t need some brat- “Oh, trust me Eren, you did.” She giggled. “I haven’t seen that look in his eyes for a long time. Don’t mention any of this to him, but it was like he lost that drive when the band fell apart. He was actually kind of reluctant about making a new one with brand new people, you know. I had to force him. He’s twenty four, he still has plenty of time. He can’t be sulking around like an old man.” She informed, “But then, you just happened to show up with all this spark and he seemed to wake up. I guess what I’m trying to say is you harmonize well with him, not just vocally.” She admitted, sighing and looking over at me. What? I can’t believe this, I’ve only known him for a few days. Maybe I annoyed him so bad, it made him let out his annoyance by singing, but nah, I don’t inspire people- “Eren, we’re here!” Hanji said, back to her cheery self, interrupting my thoughts for the second time. Oh, well look at that. We are. And we're parked, I guess she’s only dropping me off at the apartment because she hasn’t moved yet. I opened the car door and jumped out and turned to Hanji, I better ask her this right now. “Hey Hanji, Why did Counterattack break up, anyways?” I asked, obviously curious. Hanji gave an apologetic look. “Sorry, Eren, that’s not any of my business. Levi would probably kill me very slowly if I said anything.” She said. My shoulders slumped a bit as I let out an "Aw." I quickly smiled it off, thanking her. “Thanks for the ride and clothes, this really means a lot.” I said as Hanji perked up. “Of course! It was definitely my pleasure….very much my pleasure.” She said, going from cheery to slightly creepy. Of course you enjoyed this, Hanji, you dressed me like a fucking stripper and are planning to put eyeliner on me. I grinned, waving as she drove off, making my way up to Levi’s floor quickly, texting him I was here. When I got there, the door was already creaking open. I stepped in and looked around, closing the door behind me. “Levi?” I called. Weird. I saw a figure on the couch, sprawled out, it was Levi. His hair was slightly messed up, his black shirt was only half buttoned and his cheeks were flushed a reddish pink, shit, was he...drunk?

“H-Hey…..Brrrat”

**  
  
**


	5. A Night Worth Forgetting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this and that it's so short! We will be posting more when finals arre over, and we hope to have chapter 6 up in under a week. Thanks!

      "L-Levi?" I stuttered, backing up slowly. He lifted his head up and rested it on his hand, looking at me. "Y-you were out late, b-brat." He commented, his words jumbling together. I could feel my heart beating against my chest, like it was trying to break out. I tried to calm my breathing, but the room was spinning. "Levi?" Was all I could get out. He let out a breath and put his head on the table.

 _Ok. Just think. He isn't dad. He isn't like him._ I took a step toward him cautiously. He didn't move. I walked over to the table. "Levi?" I asked again, met with a small groan. My eyes were burning and I felt my face growing hot. _Don't panic._ I told myself. I touched his shoulder gently, hoping he wouldn't get mad. I heard him take a deep breath. _I should get him to the couch._  Cautiously, I wrapped my arm around him, like he had done to me the day we met.  He leaned his weight on me, groaning. He was heavier than I thought, and I stumbled trying to bring him over. I finally got him laid down on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall. I walked over to the bedroom and ripped the blankets off the bed. Levi would hate me later. I brought the blankets over to Levi, gently laying them on top of him.

       I wiped the tear that had fallen down my face earlier. Must be some kind of instinct or shit.  I still wasn't calm, but I wasn't panicking anymore. That’s improvement, right?  I sat there with my eyes closed, my face in my palms, for a long time.

      "Eren?" I heard Levi ask, his voice still slurring. I looked up. His dark hair was ruffled up against the pillow and his face was less red. "Y-yeah?" I asked, unsure of how to respond. “Come over here.” He said. I slowly got out of the chair I’d been sitting in and sat on the floor beside him. Levi moaned softly sliding his hand on my shoulder, the room somehow felt a lot more empty now. “E-Eren…” he breathed, dragging my name out a lot more than he would have if he wasn’t drunk off his ass, “Yeah, Levi what’s u-”

       A pair of lips crashed into mine. Holy shit, these are Levi’s lips. They were actually pretty soft, they tasted like alcohol, but not bad... Stop, Jaeger, get yourself together. This man is drunk, this is gonna be awkward if- I could hear myself moan. Fuck, was I kissing back? His hands still gripped my shoulders, one of them traveling down to my waist, pulling me closer. I was tempted to snake my arms around him, and take advantage of him right- Eren! He’s drunk! Stop it, he doesn’t know what he’s doing! Hell, what am _I_ doing? I can’t be thinking like this, I don’t even- I hear Levi make a low grunt, softly pinning me on the floor, Apparently I didn’t listen to my self conscience because my arms are draped around his neck.

      His lips left mine as they started making their way down my neck, kissing it roughly, muttering a few curse words. "Eren," he murmured, “I….” He made an annoyed grunt, a hungry look in those clouded eyes as he devoured my neck once more. I know I need to push him off before this guy does something he regrets but fuck- I can’t continue my thoughts as he started sucking “Ah fuck kid...fuck” He whispered huskily, sinking his teeth in my skin. A a strong pale hand stroked my thigh, please don’t tell me he’s thinking about taking off my fucking pants. He gripped the dark denim of my jeans, moving his eyes up to face me, the sudden cold air stinging my neck as Levi’s lips abandoned them. Those are going to leave bruises for sure. I need to get my thoughts together, he’s drunk Eren, can't you realize that? A mix of a squeak and some kind of moan escaped my mouth as Levi’s lips crashed on to mine roughly. His grip on my thigh tightened, and he thrusted those damn hips of his closer to mine. “Damn...fuck...don’t make those sounds like that...they’re making me want to fuck you even harder….I’m having enough trouble holding back as it is,” he hazily muttered. I could only meet his gaze with wide eyes, not knowing what to say. I didn’t even realize how tight my hold around the back of his shirt was. Ah, fuck.  A lazy smirk displayed on his lips as he let out a soft, twisted chuckle before leaning into my ear, his voice low and seductive, fuck! Not seductive, fuck… the low, DEEP, not seductive rasp ran over my thoughts “I shouldn’t even be liking shitty brats like you”. _What?_  My cheeks were burning, but it diminished as Levi paused, craning his neck up to look down at me. His eyes look disoriented, they weren’t focused at all, they didn’t have that silver sharpness, no. They were a dull gray. Just like my father’s. His angry, ravaged face suddenly appeared. Father...dad...drinking...on top of me. Drunk and on top of me. Something in my little brain snapped. “NO!” I heard myself gasp, suddenly throwing him off me. He definitely didn't see that coming, he slammed down on the floor letting out a “FUCK!”, he was cringing a little bit, as he laid sprawled on his carpet, he probably couldn’t feel much, he just looked shocked. I slowly slid myself away, standing, and stumbling up to the couch, immediately curling into a ball, all I could do is repeat in a whisper, “No.” _This is just an illusion, Eren, Levi’s not him, Eren. He saved your ass, he just...had just a little too much. He wouldn’t do what dad did, come on now. This is all just a big fat lie, Levi’s probably going to forget about this...heh...yeah._

      I looked back at Levi, who had collapsed on the couch, and was passed out. I tried to steady my rapid breathing. It would all be better in the morning. I just have to calm down.

      I walked down the hallway to the bedroom. I couldn't sleep on the couch by Levi, I just couldn't. There weren't any blankets but it didn't bother me.  I looked up at the ceiling, running through what had happened over and over in my mind. I didn't even know if I liked him that way yet, and he was drunk, there was no way he would _actually_ like me. I closed my eyes. I hoped he wouldn't be able to remember this in the morning. A tear slid down the side of my face involuntarily and I didn't bother to wipe it away. I forced my eyes to shut, no matter how much they seemed to want to open up and rewind everything like dumbass tragic movie. No, I clutched my body tightly, I’m safe, I’m away...nothing will hurt me again….I could feel dark haziness drifting over me. _Just sleep it off Eren, don’t speak of anything, it never happened, never…._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This our first fanfiction, so we would really appreciate any comments! If you find any big grammatical errors, please tell us.


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